don’t stand so close to me

You know what really burns my biscuits? Supermarket crowders. When I’m pursuing the choice cut of meat I want in my belly or the peak level of ripeness for my avocado selection, I would appreciate a little space in which to execute my decision making. All of my faculties need to be directed at my food sourcing and not at how best to dispose of the human sized gnat invading my personal no go zone. I’m not talking about the two pump chumps who know what they want and are out before you knew they were in, I’m referring to those other assholes, that like me need some time for contemplation. Burnt biscuits never killed anyone, but I mean really is it so hard to make a lap?

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