You know what really burns my biscuits? The idea of the “gay agenda.” Like what is that exactly? Call me Satan in the flesh, but I’ve mingled with a few of these fire and brimstone blackguards and the scariest thing I’ve been exposed to are heavy poured vodka drinks mixed with my own subsequently terrible dancing. This might make me a purgatory princess, but I’ll screech me some “Come To My Window” ALL DAY LONG. I mean come the fuck on: Ellen, NPH, Elton, Melissa, Anderson? The list of the yas queen queers could go on and on and ON. If these folks are harbingers of the “gay agenda” sign me up stat. What do Christians have? That little psycho fuckboi Kirk Cameron? Bitch please. Seriously though, the “hell bound homosexuals” I know, are more concerned with being treated as a human being and not some crusty piece of dog shit, to spend much time corrupting my immortal soul. To me, the “Christian agenda” is more of a burr in my butt. I’m not talking about the good Christians that are all for loving everyone, even if they ARE certain the sexual sinners are gonna be roasting in hell come the end days. I’m talking about the pushy ones, who walk around with a permanent panty wad. Their agendas have the ability to effect me more than any Sodom and Gomorrah tainted hangover ever will. Burnt biscuits never killed anyone, but gay makes my day.