Warhammer 40k

Okay, normally I don’t subscribe to Alan’s particular brand of old man nerdiness, but I have to say, this REALLY IMPRESSES ME.  Basically, the game involves miniatures. You create an army that exists in the year 40,000, and use it to fight other pretend armies from the year 40,000.  The miniatures are more or less completely created by the player, with loose guidelines. You buy pieces, you stick ‘em together, and you paint your ‘army’ that you use to play the game. You make the bases and the terrain, the vehicles, the whole deal. 

And Games Workshop, the guys who invented the game, hold 3 competitions a year for the best miniatures. Keep in mind that these dudes are about an inch and a half tall. Some of the larger ones – the vehicles, etc. – MIGHT get to about 4 inches. LOOK AT THESE FUCKING THINGS:

I really don’t even believe it. First of all, when Alan paints, he has like 8 billion candle watt bulbs and giant magnifying glasses and the teeniest paintbrushes I’ve ever seen, and it takes him HOURS to do one figure.

Secondly, is this really the best use for these talents? It can’t possibly be. These fucking people should be sprucing up the Sistine Chapel ceiling, or something.

Thirdly, GO TO THE WEBSITE and look at the rest, because even the Youngbloods (kids under 12) do a way better job than my brain can even comprehend. Keep in mind, they make EVERYTHING. The tiny signs, the props on the ground, the itsy bitsy chains, the organs, ALL OF IT, out of, like, broken glass and shit. I can’t believe it.

For realz.

Anywho, the Dish Network man is here, FINALLY, and I’m just waiting to go downtown and check up on a few places I applied to work. If all goes well, I WON’T have to go to Pizza Hut later and drop off my application to sling rubbery pizza at sex-deprived military boys about to go to war in tight jeans and too much makeup. Wish me luck!

I really need that job, because I’m completely out of food. This morning for breakfast I had half a grapefruit and a piece of toast with my very last tablespoon of peanut butter on it. Yeah, it’s that bad.

Come on, October 1st…