Burn My Biscuits

dudes, I’m taking this gender studies class that I thought would be so interesting, but it’s just a bunch of ignant college students sharing their narrow “men drive like this but women drive like this” stories. Blah blah blah body image, blah blah blah rap lyrics, blah blah blah picking out cards. Ugh.

And she’s a therapist. And she lectures like it. She waits until you’re finished speaking to respond (so these bitches ramble on FOR EVER), and then gives you the old “I think what you’re trying to say is ..” It’s 60 and sunny out FOR ONCE and I’m sick of listening to this. My friends are coming tonight.

Enjoy this beard-a-clava.

mittens

paresseux

I promise I won’t keep subjecting you guys to this. I’m taking a paper-break. Just be glad I didn’t make you look at all of them.

Or, at least maybe this weekend I can get out there and take some real photos worth seeing with human eyes. Or not. Whatever, I don’t really expect you to keep putting up with this. You really are starting to sound like a battered spouse, readers.

I really hope that, even for one measly dollar, nobody subjects their child to this HORRIFYING CGI OPRAH BOOK.

That’s all I’ve got for you today, kids.

Dear diary,

This Friday, while the rest of the world enjoys drinks, socialization, and a sliver of a hope of getting laid, I will be getting paid to hang out on a cruise around the Bay, listening to Thom Hartmann talk shop. Who is Thomm Hartmann, you ask, dearest diary, because you have a life and I dont? Well, he was a radio personality who started on (the now defunct, to my occasional dismay) Air America back in 2003, filling in for Randi Rhodes (another magnificent woman you’ve never heard of) and Rachel Maddow (who you might have, thanks to her new fame on MSNBC). He was more level-headed and calm than some of the others on the station, and certainly less hotheaded than Randi (although, Randi will always be my girl), and a fundamental personality in my choice to be unapologetically leftist.

In short, I’m thrilled.

Also, A CRUISE OF THE BAY.

And then, when I’m done, I get to meet Jeff, Danea, and probably Michael. Color me stoked.

First of all, I’m totally with you, internet, on your iTampon jokes. Like, SO with you. Yes, I know we sound like 8th grade boys giggling at somebody saying “dick” over and over again. But it’s about time we got to joke about our lady parts in a public forum.

Second, I’m with Trude, who said that this video kind of made me want one. However, I take issue with a lot of their way super-mega overzealous descriptions of this TOTALLY UNECSESSARY PRODUCT.

“I don’t have to change myself to fit the product. The product fits me.” Because turning my etch-a-sketch-like internet device upside down is so straining! SCREW YOU LAPTOP.

“You push the power button and it just comes alive.” You mean like anything with a power button? You mean.. like my toaster? MY TOASTER IS ALIVE?

But if you wanted to buy me one, I wouldn’t mind. No, I don’t know when I became a fanboy.